Monday, January 16, 2017

Linda's amazing Fake Bacon

Shredded raw coconut

 2 T liquid smoke
 1 T soy sauce
 1 T maple syrup
 1 T water
 1 tsp smoked paprika

Bake 325 F 20 min, turning frequently

better than bacon!

Thursday, January 05, 2017

Nobel Prize Winning Latkes

What, there's no Nobel in Latkes? Well there should be.

These were extremely successful.

These are amazing hot.

Even a bit stale at a potluck they were appreciated.


Two sweet potatoes
About the same amount of waxy (red or Yukon gold) potatoes
A half a beet
A medium sized peeled yellow onion
2 Tbsp ground flax seed (or 2 beaten eggs)
Chick pea flour (maybe a cup?)
Better than bouillon Not-Chicken (or other bouillon concentrate) 1 tsp
Black pepper and salt to taste
Canola oil



Peel and coarsely grate sweet potatoes. Microwave for about 5 minutes until almost cooked.
Peel and coarsely grate beet. Microwave for about 2 minutes until almost cooked.
Let them cool a bit.

Corasely grate potatoes (not necessary to peel)
Drain potatoes in colander, squeezing out excess moisture.

Peel onion and grate on finest side of box grater.  This is quite tedious.
You should get a sort of oniony slush. Drain as much onion juice as you can from the slush in a fine-grain sieve.

(Running the onion through a food processor is less satisfactory but much easier. You will get a stronger onion flavor as the juice won't separate. You may want to use less, maybe half an onion.)

If not using eggs:
  Bring 1/2 cup water to a vigorous boil in small pot. Reduce heat.
  Add flax, and bring back to a slow boil.
  Whisk vigorously for about 2 minutes, to form a sticky substance.

Combine root vegetables and onion in large mixing bowl.
Add chick pea flour until the vegetables clump together. I think about a cup.

Add seasonings and flax or eggs and mix thoroughly.



The hard part is getting the oil to the right temperature.

Pour oil into a large, good, smooth or non-stick pan to cover bottom to at least 1/4 inch. If you don't have a good pan, don't bother trying this.
Heat oil, medium hot.
Put a small amount of test batter in oil. It should sizzle but not spatter. If it doesn't sizzle you'll get a greasy mess. It it spatters you'll get a coal lump before the pancake cooks through.
When you think the oil is the right temperature, make a test latke.

Drop about 2 tbsp of batter into the oil. Be careful - if oil is too hot this can be dangerous - keep your face a good distance from pan.
Flatten batter to thickness of about 1/2 inch. Ideally half the latke is in the oil and half not.
Wait until the edges are quite dark, and flip. Ideally do not flip a latke more than once. (I am not sure but I think about 4 minutes for one side, 3 for the other.)

Do NOT flip the latke before pushing on one side of the latke with the spatula loosens the whole bottom and moves the entire latke. If it just squishes a bit, it is too soon to flip. Once it doesn't squish but slides, you still want to give it about a minute. Flip.

The outside of the latke should be mottled dark brown and crispy. If it is soggy, your oil is too cool or you flipped too soon. If it is black, your oil is too hot or you cooked too long.

Wait a couple of minutes and taste. Decide if it is delicious.

Is it delicious? Make a batch of 4 or 5 in your pan.

Is it not delicious? Adjust your strategy and try again with a single latke.

These things are greasy, so they absorb some oil. As you make batches, adding oil and getting it up to the right temperature is something you will get to practice.



This recipe makes a whole lot of latkes.

Serve with sour cream or vegan sour cream. Have some applesauce on hand for random goyim that think that is how to serve potato pancakes.

Note: latkes can be vegan but they cannot be health food. Also, let's face it, they are worth it, but a lot of trouble. Once a year, please.