Friday, May 21, 2010

In honour of PO Day

I am sorry I did not find out until today about Piss Everybody Off Day, so I am a bit late to the party. Also I have no clever picture of Mohammed to offer.

Instead I will tell you, truthfully, that I have a five foot long plush python named Jesus.

This is in honour of that Englishwoman teaching school in Libya Sudan who asked her kids what to call their mascot stuffed bear. Of course, they had little choice but to call it Mohammed, upon which the poor woman was jailed for sacrilege. Since I had just acquired my plush python, I decided to call it Jesus in her honour. (Being a Texan python named Jesus, of course it is pronounced Hey-ZOOSS.)

Did I miss anybody? Vegans? Ruby programmers? OK, here goes.

Little Girl: I'd like to buy a bunny rabbit, please, mister.
Rabbit Breeder: That's wonderful! Do you know what color bunny you'd like?
Little Girl: Oh, it doesn't matter. I don't think my pet python will care.

(As long as she names the bunny Ruby, I don't mind.)

Monday, May 03, 2010

Cumberland Blues

I can't stay much longer, Melinda
The sun is getting high
I can't help you with your troubles
If you won't help with mine

I gotta get down
I gotta get down
Got to get down to the mine

You keep me up just one more night
I can't sleep here no more
Little Ben clock says quarter to eight
You kept me up till four

I gotta get down
I gotta get down
Or I can't work there no more

Lotta poor man make a five dollar bill
Keep him happy all the time
Some other fellow making nothing at all
And you can hear him cryin...

"Can I go buddy
Can I go down
Take your shift at the mine?"

Got to get down to the Cumberland mine
That's where I mainly spend my time
Make good money/five dollars a day
Made any more I might move away -

Lotta poor man got the Cumberland Blues
He can't win for losin
Lotta poor man got to walk the line
Just to pay his union dues

I don't know now
I just don't know
If I'm goin back again
I don't know now
I just don't know
If I'm goin back again

- R H