Urgent Information Regarding Mortgage Holder!

I must be in a low IQ zipcode.

Apparently buying a house in a middle-class neighborhood in America these days makes you a target for various scam artists intimating that they are your lender or your government. I have here the six offers from this week:

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1) "It has been brought to our attention that you are not yet participating in the Mortgage Cancellation Program to which you are entitled". (OK, at least it looks optional. This is an assume-your-mortgage-in-case-of-death offer. If I ever plan to off myself I will certainly look them up.)

2) Attention: Time Sensitive Material. Complete and Return.

LENDER: Supreme Lending
Michael Tobis
address....

(This is an offer of life and disability insurance)

3) Important Notice to Michael Tobis. Please Complete and Return.

Travis County.

(life and disability. AT least they said "please". This one is especially creepy because it seems to claim to be from the county.)

4) IMPORTANT NOTICE from Mortgage Protection Services. Complete and Return.

Lender:
Supreme Lending
To Borrower:
Mr. & Mrs. Michael Tobis
[address]

(Cleverly dressed up to look like it's FROM the lender. Of course, they sold me off to Wells Fargo inside a week. Maybe the U of T thinks I'm marginal but the banks think I'm golden...)

5) Attention: Time Sensitive Material. Complete and Return.

Lender: Supreme Lending
Record Date: 01/22/2008 (huh?)
Loan Amount: [amount]

6) Notice of Interest Overpayment

(This one is the best. Apparently if you pay off your loan early you will pay less interest! Who knew? Anyway these people will kindly collect payments biweekly and pay your mortgage down monthly for a modest fee.)

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I wonder how many people fill out everything marked "Complete and Return" and end up with twenty life insurance policies...